Brussels on Parade

Brussels1:33 pm, February 2011, undisclosed city location*


City Planner 1: “Boys, we need some kind of catchy program for Brussels next season. I’m pretty sure when people think of Brussels, only the sprouts come to mind.”

City Planner 2: “Yeah, true. I mean, I don’t even like Brussels sprouts, so I can totally see how people would turn up their noses.”

City Planner 1: “Maybe we should promote the gourmet side of Brussels…you know, all those fancy restaurants we have.”

City Planner 3: “Hmmm…yeah, totally man. I could see this going somewhere. We’ll get the restaurants to organize special menus and stuff.”

City Planner 2: “We should do some cool cultural events, too.”

City Planner 1: “Yeah. Francois, why don’t you get on that and report back tomorrow.”

City Planner 2: “Okay, boss. Tomorrow, same place, same time?”

City Planner 1: “Great, now go get busy.”

City Planner 3: “Peace out, guys.”



BrusselsThe next day, same time, same place


City Planner 1: “So, Francois, what did you come up with?”

City Planner 2: “Thrilling idea. May I direct your attention to this photo?”



City Planner 1: “This appears to be a large, painted bovine. I see exactly how this fits in with Brussels! Not.”

City Planner 2: “Oh, but just take a look a few more pictures, sir.”





City Planner 1: “Francois, these are simply atrocious. A cow wearing heart boxers? A green two-headed cow? A personified cow wearing sunglasses, a  Tommy Bahama shirt, and a  rucksack? Please tell me your grand plan for all of this.”

City Planner 3: “Yeah man, these are a little weird.”

City Planner 2: “The concept was born in Zurich with lion statues, but took off in Chicago with cows. It was such a hit with locals and tourists alike that other cities adopted it.”

City Planner 3: “So there were like, random cow statues all over the place? Weird, man.”

City Planner 2: “Well, sort of. Local artists painted the cows, which was a boost for the local economy. I was thinking we could do the same thing.”

City Planner 1: “Cows have absolutely nothing to do with Brussels.”

City Planner 2: “Right. I was thinking we could do…food.”

City Planner 1: “Food?”

City Planner 2 : “Yeah. Statues of food.”

City Planner 3: “Hey man, I kind of like that. Food, yeah…yeah.”

City Planner 2: “Right. So, what do you say to fries, mussels, and chocolate?”

City Planner 3: “And don’t forget the Brussels sprouts.”

City Planner 2: “We can spread them throughout the city as a scavenger hunt!”

City Planner 1: “Francois, you’re a good man. I knew you were on to something. Agreed! Now get to work.”



BrusselsOne year later, fruits of his labor realized


Frites, anyone?




"Lighthouse" Brussels Sprout




Belgian Chocolate


"Newspaper" Brussels Sprout


Close up and personal




She's a beauty queen, ain't she?


I love chocolate

I love chocolate


Pop, soda, milkshake...take your pick.


*Apologies to the real city planners of Brussels. I’m 100% positive this is not the exact way it went down. Close, maybe…

Have you experienced any of these “cultural phenomenon” around the world?



One thought on “Brussels on Parade

  1. Hahah this is beyond hilarious! I’m almost certain the city hall members are thinkin up some new plans for belgian beer statues right now

    In Baytown, TX there’s huge painted pelicans everywhere! It’s an honor to have one in front of your establishment, and let’s just say the one in front of the hooters restaurant is hilarious 🙂

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