Last week or so, I was innocently riding to work on the Metra, moving along with the hoards of other corporate workers, impatiently drifting side to side in order to get to work faster, just like a gaggle of waddling geese.
As I was hustling and bustling my way out of the train station with my “I mean business” face on, I caught site of people with large aprons on, who appeared to be giving away something for free. FREE!
Yes, it was almost as if there were a giant, blinking, flashing sign that said “I AM FREE,” with people in megaphones chanting around it. Almost.
I couldn’t resist. I bustled my way in line, held out my hand, and received a free package of peanuts. Did I mention it was free?
Whew. I stashed them in my purse for a nice after-work snack.
Fast forward 9 hours of data analyzation.
While hustling and bustling back, vying for the first spot on the sidewalk so I could cross faster and avoid the sneaker-clad businesswomen, I spotted the peanut people again. “Just my luck,” I thought, “another FREE peanut package!” And when I said free, I had to hold my hands over my eyes lest my bulging eyeballs pop out of my head. I kid. I kid.
Greedily, I took another package and stuffed it with the other in my purse. Once safe and sound on the train, I settled in and broke out this baby:
I tore open a little corner of the bag, but I was having a hard time getting the peanuts out. So I tugged at the corners to open the bag a little and…POP! KERSPLAT! BOUNCE….BOUNCE…BOUNCE.
Peanuts. All over the floor. My purse. And the poor kid sitting in front of me.
Instead of raining men, it was raining peanuts.
I feel this was my comeuppance for being greedy.
Abashedly, I scooped up what peanuts I could, then sat quietly with my hands folded in my lap for the remainder of the ride, lest I draw any more attention to myself.
But hey, at least I had another bag.
And now I shall take this opportunity to share some funny pictures related to peanuts. I know. Get excited. (click for sources)
What was your last embarrassing moment?